With each new calendar year comes the inevitable push for the January-friendly cleanse: Remove all booze for Dry-uary! Make zero purchases in no-spend January! Replace meals with shakes or juices for Cranky-January!
And yes, all of these have some merit – a small payout at the end of the month by way of fewer pounds or increased smugness. But is it too much to ask for a cleanse that feels great while you’re doing it? We set out to craft a few challenges we know you’ll enjoy, both in the moment and in the months to come.
1. The Get-Off-My-Feed Cleanse.
Step one: pour yourself a glass of wine (our seamless crystallized glass ones will help you get the job done). Step two: put on your favorite mindless TV show. Step three: open the “Friends” tab on Facebook, scroll all the way down to the bottom, and start unfriending mercilessly. Are they chronic breakfast photo-posters? Are they serving up one too many thinly-veiled attempts to lure you into a multi-level marketing scheme? Unfriend. Are you too afraid of any resulting fallout if they find out? Go the “unfollow” route, if you must. Step four: congratulate yourself by refilling your wine glass from a nearby Italian blown-glass decanter.
2. The No-Bad-Vibes Cleanse.
The rule is simple. Anything that makes you feel bad about yourself goes. This includes jeans you can only zip lying down, unflattering shirts, anything with a stain you always swear you’ll “get to” but haven’t. If your closet looks too empty after that? Well, slip into our hyper-plush and refreshingly lightweight robe and start online shopping for things that will love you back.
3. The “You Shouldn’t Have!” Cleanse.
Light an invigorating candle (Calla Lily, dew drops, and green leaves make our Rinse and Repeat candle the perfect choice). Gather up allll those holiday gifts you got from well-meaning family members and work secret santas, including but not limited to ugly sweaters, ironic or not. The presents you will never wear, use, or enjoy, but feel a sense of duty to find a spot for in a closet or drawer. Use them to jog your memory for who to write thank you notes to. Then place them in a box and donate to a local shelter.
Feeling zen, yet?
4. The “Hello, Counter Space!” Cleanse
Look at you with your slow-cooker, juicer, blender, immersion blender, food processor, and rice cooker! Now let’s zero in on the ones put into use 350 or more days a year. The rest can go live in a spacious farm upstate, i.e. high-up cabinets, or if you’re being honest with yourself, your nearest donation drop-off. Now that you have a beautiful expanse of open space, plop down a hand-finished walnut cheese board to break it up – it looks amazing and doubles as a cutting board.
5. The Good Night Stand Cleanse
What to lose: Your phone charger (delegate it to the living room). That growing stack of clothing tags and receipts you keep there “for safekeeping.” Anything that’s not simply a clock, a delicate but durable carafe and glass for water, and a notebook and pen. The improved sleep, preferably under a wildly soft duvet cover, will start tonight. Add a candle too, if you feel it’s a little too spare – our Pillow Talk candle blends Sandalwood, lavender, and ginger for a relaxing and sumptuous scent.
6. The “I’m Over 18” Cleanse
Some novelty tee-shirts and mugs have sentimental value. The ones that don’t are easy to say bye to. Use the space you gain to enjoy the feel of a smooth drawer open-close; replace any mugs with our high-quality porcelain mugs with a perfectly-formed lip and handle.
7. The “Maybe Someday…” Cleanse
Purge everything in your bathroom drawer and shower shelf you’ve used once (or twice, or even never) but suspect that one day you may have a use for. Thickening hair shampoo, light-up tweezers, exfoliating knee lotion… if it’s not part of your routine, it doesn’t deserve the real estate. Reward yourself with an Italian-made linen shower curtain that’s as sleek and refined as your newly edited bathroom.